Do We Really Have to Worry About Sexual Abuse? Being Your Own Best Friend

This is a post I wrote before starting this current blog.  It is a technique I use and share with my clients.  I believe when you are a sexual abuse survivor searching for support and understanding you can learn to give it to yourself, and you will know you have someone in your corner with your best interest in mind.

    Most of us have heard someone telling them about the wonder of being their “own best friend”.  For some, it’s a catch phrase, a buzzword that lost its appeal a couple of decades ago.  It sounds a little like a term therapists used back in the 1960’s or ‘70’s when therapists recommended the book “I’m OK, You’re OK”, by Thomas Harris. 

     I’d venture to guess we could all use another friend but having yourself as a best friend is not exactly in the same category of friends as the others.  Many of us have had less nurturing than would be ideal during our life.  In addition, unless you have a completely selfless significant other, without a job or other responsibilities, who can solely provide you with whatever support and nurturing you might need, there are days when you might not think you could ever get enough.

     Even when you lived at home with your parents, whose job it was to nurture and support you emotionally while running the household, keeping a job, meeting the needs of all other family members, and having a life; we may not get enough support and love.

And If we need more, where do we get it?  Do we get it from the guy or girl at the bar when it’s almost closing time?  Do we get it from our children or our spouse?  What about the people at work?  Still need more?

     For those dark nights, the three a.m. times when you’re alone or your secret is too secret to share, who is there?  You, you are always there and learning how to provide your self with the support you want is a gift like no other.  You can give it to yourself.  Then what you get from others is just icing on the cake. 

   Imagine that, giving yourself what you need. A lot of us remain in relationships because we don’t want to be alone, more importantly we don’t want to feel alone.  When you are your own best friend, you are never alone.  You don’t have to suffer through other people’s “junk” You can choose people who treat you the way you deserve to be treated. A permanent best friend who only has your best interests at heart and people in your life who treat you the way that you should be treated.  Think of how great your life will be!
Call me, I can help you learn how to help yourself.

Carolyn has been providing therapy for clients for 30+ years and although she has worked with all kinds of clients in all kinds of environments, her passion continues to be providing services for clients who have dealt with sexual abuse issues and trauma. She currently provides all types of therapeutic support for victims of sexual abuse assault rape and incest.   Serving Ft. Lauderdale, Palm Beach, and Miami area   
Carolyn Wilson,  M.S.W., L.C.S.W.                       
 Personal Solutions 954-793-3201  
Helping you To Find Your Personal Solutions