The Trouble With Sexual Abuse

As a therapist who specializes in work with clients who have been sexually abused, I have worked with clients whose lives have been forever altered from the trauma they have been through. Until you live through this kind of life-changing event, (or events), you cannot imagine the impact. It is something that makes the victim into another person.

And my message here, even with all the gloom and doom, is "you can be a survivor, from those moments you felt like a victim, you can survive and become a fully functioning person." Believe me, there is a way to put all those pieces back together. You may need some help; maybe a good therapist, but you can do it. So don't give up, you can put the pieces back together.

I wonder if the perpetrator ever sees the damage they do, see how impaired their victims' lives can become by one act of power and control? I wonder if they would they make different choices? Family members, acquaintances, and people they see every day and sometimes traumatized in the name of love or some sort of affection often victimize people. Do these aggressors care? Would it make a difference?

The victim needs to put their life back together, put their head, and heart together and figure out how to exist in a world that is completely changed. They become a new person and they feel they will never see joy, see colors, trust, love, close their eyes in peace, or be able to take a deep breath again. They need to re-evaluate the world. But, I promise, with some work, you can do it. Don't give up.

Carolyn has been providing therapy for clients for 30+ years and although she has worked with all kinds of clients in all kinds of environments, her passion continues to be providing services for clients who have dealt with sexual abuse issues and trauma. She currently provides all types of therapeutic support for victims of sexual abuse assault rape and incest. Serving Ft. Lauderdale, Palm Beach, and Miami area
Carolyn Wilson, M.S.W., L.C.S.W.
Personal Solutions 954-793-3201
Helping you To Find Your Personal Solutions

Monday, February 2, 2015

Do You Really Have To Worry About Sexual Abuse? It Didn't Affect Me!!!??

When you were young, you were a victim. You may or may not have known it was wrong but the most important part was you didn't have any power. The other person had the power. You just wanted to be loved, whatever that took...you just didn't expect being loved would be like that.
Time went on and it seemed to be less important. It was something you put in the back, far away from the every day "you". If anyone knew, you would be so humiliated, even if it wasn't your fault. you were afraid people would think it was your fault. Like you could have stopped it, could have controlled it, even if you really couldn't, people don't believe it. They want to know "why?", and you don't know why either.
Now all this time has passed, and you don't even think about it very much. You see things on TV or in the newspaper and it reminds you. When everyone else is talking about the latest story, sometimes you think about how it could have been you they are reading about. But it isn't you, it isn't you! Your life isn't messed up. You are in control. You work and you have a daughter. You are a contributing member of society. And no one knows.
But your life isn't going well. You are taking drugs and sometimes you take drugs in front of your daughter. But you are doing OK; your daughter has good grades and you have an important job. Except you have to declare bankruptcy, more than once and life at home is not so good. Somehow you keep finding guys that don't treat you so well. They hit you, they hit your daughter, there is a lot of name calling and sometimes infidelity. But you still want to be loved, and you keep trying and trying to do whatever you need to do for that love. You work so hard.
You protect your abuser. Hide the story. Don't get any therapy because you don't need it. If you can just get everything straight and right, it will be alright for you. Then you find out how much your daughter is hurting, hurting right along with you. She's cutting herself, she pulls away from everyone The beautiful, shining child with all the hope and promise is now sullen, depressed, shut alone in her room and cutting herself to deal with the pain she feels in the life you live, the life you share. She is taking on your pain. Even if you are OK, she is not. The daughter you love more than your life, is reflecting the pain IN your life. It is the pain in her life that makes things more clear. You need to rescue her and maybe you can rescue yourself. Can you?
I can help you find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel. Call me at 954-793-3201.